What Are You Really Valuing?

The first time I really discovered the importance of knowing your values and making them conscious was when I learned NLP in 2017.

This exercise just blew my mind.

It is such a powerful way of really knowing yourself.

Our values are like an internal compass

Our values are like an internal compass guiding our lives.

They are often unconscious and inherited from our family, our community, our company, or even our country.

And they really shape how we make decisions and guide our lives.

We can have different values for our relationships, our personal life, our work and career, or even money.

They are basically the things that are deeply important to us.

When we become aware of our values, it becomes easier to make decisions.

It can also help us understand the decisions we made in the past.

Our values are not completely fixed

I don't see values as something completely fixed.

I believe some values are really intrinsic and so important to us that they may never change.

But some values are more flexible and depend on the stage of our life or the context we are in.

When I'm on holiday, for example, I might value freedom, adventure and slowing down more.

When I'm at work, I might think more about productivity, results and success.

Someone who was single and is now becoming a father may also experience a shift in his values.

He might start valuing family or security more than he did before.

Are all our values really ours?

Sometimes we inherit values from our family.

They are what our family taught us to believe in or even to fight for.

But sometimes these values are not actually aligned with who we really are and what we really want.

And sometimes, a value can even work against us.

For example, the value of family can be so strong in some families that people allow a lack of boundaries or accept being treated disrespectfully because "family comes first."

Or if we value financial success very highly, we can become completely obsessed with it, and it can start having an impact on our relationships or our health.

We can also consciously choose what we want to value

I also realized that if we want to embody a certain quality, and we feel that this quality is aligned with where we want to go, what we want to achieve and who we want to become, we can consciously decide to value it more.

Maybe for a year, we decide to value authenticity or vulnerability because we want to experience more connection in our relationships.

I remember doing exactly that. I decided that one year would be more about self-love, authenticity and vulnerability. I consciously wanted to embody these values more because I saw them as beneficial for my path.

What are you valuing?

One interesting thing I recommend is to start observing your own life.

For every decision you make during the day, ask yourself:

What am I valuing right now?

You go to the gym this morning. What are you valuing? Maybe health, beauty or longevity.

You decide to eat a French pastry from the bakery around the corner. Maybe you're valuing pleasure and gastronomy.

You choose to open your own company. Maybe you're valuing autonomy, independence or freedom.

What are you valuing through the choices you make?

It's a really interesting question to ask yourself.

Because the more conscious we become of what we value, the more consciously we can choose the life we want to live.

With care,

Laeti